Monday, November 17, 2008

back when grey's was (somewhat) good...

i have been reminiscing over my favorite over-the-top, jumping-the-shark, yelling-at-the-TV moments from the last 4 seasons. the following are just a few memorable scenes and quotes, listed in order of increasing ridiculosity:

10."do you like jail!?!"
[cristina and izzy steal a body to do an autopsy].

if a patient ever specifically makes a request against a medical procedure, the grey's doctors only find that as direct encouragement to go on with the exact thing. (for further discussion: see #3: prom/denny). nevermind that they did discover the man died of a genetic disease, nevermind that they did eventually get the family's permission, i could have done with a few minutes of seeing izzy and yang behind bars.

9."i hate trout!!!
[addison hates trout/the men go camping].

there really is no excuse to live in a little tiny camping trailer on a huge plot of land when you're a multi-million-dollar earning surgeon, so i'm totally behind Addison on this one. never should have given up that brownstone in manhattan, girl. and those doctors have no more business going fishing and getting all outdoorsy than would paris hilton running for president – your expertise is in the OR, which comes to point all to soon when somebody catches joe's boyfriend with a fishhook in the back of the head.

8."that was mark."
[mcdreamy punches mcsteamy in the face].

sloane shows up in seattle and takes all of 2 seconds to start hitting on meredith, which prompts derek to fly from wherever in the hospital to clock him in the side of the head – only giving sloane further chance to show off and suture his own face and earn his own nickname: "mcsteamy." i'm with george on this one: "choking back some mc-vomit."

7. "i've spent lots of time imagining myself half-naked in a room full of women and the reality is so much better."
[george gets syphilis].

before george became the man-whore of seattle grace (seriously, calculate how many people he's slept with!), he was all sweet and innocent – and slapped with an STD. and somehow the entire intern crew managed to show up and check out his ass when he was getting his antibiotics. poor george.

6. "it looks like santa threw up in here."/"it's what jesus would freakin' do!!!"
[izzy goes christmas overboard].

for the portions of the population who don't enjoy the piney-smell of fir trees, peppermint sweetness of candy canes, twinkling lights in the snow, and bright holiday melodies, i understand why this episode would make you want to poke your eyes out with a pencil. even i – with my tendencies to start the holiday music in mid-september - found izzy to be annoyingly annoying and diminishing of my own christmas spirit. but, at least she got a dose of reality with her overwhelming christmas cheer by doing something she absolutely hated: pretending to be a sick, overweight farmer to help alex study for his boards.

5. "we screw boys like whores on tequila."
[everybody has slept with everybody at least once, maybe even twice].

i cannot look at a tequila shot without having a little voice in the back of my head pipe up and chide, "don't end up like meredith grey….". it would take A LOT of tequila to get me anywhere close to meredith's status, or the status of anyone else on that show, considering they make bad sexual decisions with less abandon and more frequency than a normal person does when sending an e-mail.

4. "i'm bambi, george!"
[izzy resuscitates a deer].

this whole episode was a giant wtf moment. being an animal lover, i certainly wasn't delighted to see the deer in pain, but i wasn't reduced to a sobbing blubbery mess as when doc was put to sleep either. can you really use a portable defibrillator on a deer? and if you do, does the deer really jump up onto all its four legs and walk off into the sunset as though it was never hit by a truck?

3. whose panties are on the bulletin board!?"
[seattle grace throws a prom/izzy cuts denny's wires].

random event: the hospital throws a prom. despie wanting to be DNR, izzy cuts denny's wires in an attempt to get him a new heart (he does) and then spends too much time deciding what prom dress to wear (he dies). meredith puts her dog to sleep, sleeps with derek in a hospital room, loses her underwear, breaks up with mcvet, and manages to look mopey the entire time. everyone else in the episode generally runs around like chickens with their heads cut off.

2. meredith's multiple deaths
[meredith grabs hold of the bomb/meredith falls off a ferry boat]

as her therapist asks (in slightly more kind terms), what the hell is wrong with you that you keep putting yourself in these situations?! only meredith grey could grab ahold of a bomb and prevent it from going off, only to have it kill a member of the bomb squad (whose death is never mentioned again) and then have him reappear in her limbo-like state when she falls off a ferry boat. bomb man, train woman, denny, and doc (which sounds like a companion show to aqua teen hunger force) all magically reappear in meredith's dream to tell her to enjoy her life (i.e., less mopey) before they randomly start gushing blood and re-enacting their deaths. break out the elaine scarry and apply the trauma theory on these storylines.

1. "oh my god, you have a [fill-in-the-blank-with-exceedingly-rare-medical-mystery] case!?!"
[full gamut of medical calamities]

a man who eats scissors; bomb in a body cavity!; exploding necks; a man who chainsaws off his foot; impaled on a train; impaled on a tree; encased in cement; woman crushed by ferry boat; pregnant man; "his piercing is stuck on my IUD. and we're divorced;" brain tumors; body tumors; spontaneous orgasms; PENIS FISH.

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