Wednesday, December 6, 2006
I write a fictional account of me and Jill being quarantined for SARS? Bubonic plague makes an appearance.
Same account - a car crashes into Recieving Hospital. On Grey's a car spins out of control and crashes through a market.
Really, the evidence is undeniable.
But ABC, I would now like to make you an offer. Today, something which could only happen in this great city of ours, Detroit, has happened. Let me recount you the tale.
Man is arrested for driving stolen car.
Man is taken to jail, where man is either for real, or feigns, sickness.
Man is taken to the Detroit Recieving (seriously, this is way more badass than Seattle Grace).
Man starts to fight with police officer who tries to handcuff him when they get to Recieving.
Man manages to wrestle gun away from police officer.
Man grabs clerk and takes said clerk with him outside by gunpoint.
Man fires several shots with newly stolen gun outside of hospital.
Man then releases clerk but hijacks an ambulance standing outside with 2 patients inside.
Man then forces ambulance driver to drop him off at Third and Canfield, which is yes, several blocks away from my apartment and very near to Wayne State University.
Man flees on foot.
Man is tracked by dogs to bus stop on Canfield and Grand River, where the trail runs cold.
Okay ABC - can it not get any better then this? Crazed man (apparently, this loose gunman has some sort of mental illness and has not taken his medication)breaks free in hospital, with a gun, hijacks an ambulance and then flees to nearby college campus. Whoever writes Grey's Anatomy - look, you cannot invent a story like this. So let me write this episode for you, for real (instead of this ghostwriting stuff you're having me do). I promise you it will be brilliant, and then you can pay me royalties. It will be glorious.
Saturday, December 2, 2006
Today I was walking down Woodward and a bum came right up to me, put his face at a vaguely uncomfortably close distance to mine and asked:
"Hey would you give me a kiss?"
To which I could only reply:"Ahahahahahahah no sir."
Then to make things even better, the bum said:
"No come on! Seriously!"
To which I could only laugh even more because even bums are picking up the 'Grey's Anatomy' slang.