"i just threw a pancake in the river!!" -OR- a new meaning of the phrase "breakfast with grey's"

alex [the girl] asked for a buzzed post, so here it is. ignore any typing mistakes; they're really not my fault.

first - alex [the guy] is an ass. and being an ass does not make a person hot. in the reality of the actual universe (as opposed to the fictional) asshole-ism decreases a person's attractiveness. therefore, if alex and lexie actually interacted in real life, she would have punched him in the head while in the elevator.

meredith and lexie: you've each lost your mother, and it sounds like you've each lost your father (for different reasons, but still) - bond over that! you're all you've got! besides that other sister. what the heck happened to her!?

callie: izzie will so kick your ass. growing up in a trailer park, giving up a baby at 16, losing your fiance to a heart attack - what have you done? oh yeah, i seem to remember your uber-rich father showing up and threatening to pay for a big, glamorous ("champagne wishes and caviar dreams," addison? way to rip off fergie) wedding. even though you may be a dominatrix in comparison to george, izzie will still kick your ass. even though she has gone all bambi the last couple of seasons, she once threatened to beat up cristina. and cristina was scared. so you should be too.




ohhh!!!!! i have just realized that i did not tape over my "antiques roadshow" with grey's fucking anatomy. this is so glorious!

This would be better with waffles.

Thanks to my new laptop, I now have the unprecedented ability to blog about Grey's AS it happens. [This is mainly to help the Jill, who cannot watch the show as it happens] Since this cannot occur in person as it used to, this conversation is now reduced to cyberspace. tear sob.

GEORGE ♥

Wtf pigtales Yang? Seriously?

OMFG Fix your hair Alex. It's fucking poufy - and whats with the goatee? Hideous. Shave it off.

Ah, George is back as an intern! At least he did not go to Mercy West.

"Girl on girl honeymoon" - someone's favorite fantasy I am sure.

I hope McDreamy and Bailey hook up. That would make my life.

The Chief just called Callie "George." I think. Maybe.

Oh snap. Sisters almost meet.

UPPER ARM AMPUTATION?!?!?!?!

Dead guy breathing!!!!

Way to reveal you're Meredith's sister while wheeling in armless woman Lexie.

[karebare665 (9:09:35 PM): was that really the best time to drop that bomb lexie?][credits]

Ewwww - arm! [I'm having Elaine Scarry flashbacks]

STOP SHOWING THE ARM STUMP!!

If Alex doesn't cut his hair I will email Shonda Rimes personally.

A dude just ate cotton balls!

A zombie? Or Lazarus?!

Awwwwwkward for McDreamy.

Oh, look even more awkward."Daddy intern." Fucking creepy Callie.

"My boobs are a little sore." Oh wait just got creepier Callie.

Poor deer. If you fucking help a deer Izzie I will no longer have any respect for you.

A DEER?!?!? [Jill is crying right now because an animal is hurt]

karebare665 (9:19:06 PM): "we found this fucking arm in the road, and we have a dying deer in our truck"

Internally decapitated?!

karebare665 (9:21:39 PM): talk to you next commercial!

Eating surgical equipment?!?!!

Please note Alex will soon hook up with poor lonely armless girl.

Jumping the deer. [instead of the shark]"You don't try to save them, you eat them." Gross!!

ARM.

Does Meredith have a fake spray bottle tan?!

Eeeeewwwwwwwww. Alex and Lexie.

Bailey and the Chief throw down!

Hahahaha Christina is awesomely bitchy again.

karebare665 (9:27:46 PM): McDreamy seems really pathetic

Laa13laa (9:27:42 PM): seriously

Laa13laa (9:27:47 PM): lame oh

Laa13laa (9:28:11 PM): even i can find someone to go get a drink with and I'm not nearly as hot as Patrick Dempsey

karebare665 (9:28:29 PM): haha

karebare665 (9:29:02 PM): if you're going to have a baby with no arm, you need the best ob/gyn

karebare665 (9:29:50 PM): and did that guy eat siccors?

Laa13laa (9:29:51 PM): yeah i am pretty certain

Laa13laa (9:29:56 PM): and some binder clips ahaha

karebare665 (9:30:21 PM): gross!

karebare665 (9:30:29 PM): somebody make that man some waffles!

karebare665 (9:30:31 PM): stat

Bailey is way more badass than Callie.

Laa13laa (8:54:10 PM): mwuahahahaha I get to watch greys before you do!

Laa13laa (8:54:14 PM): yay time zones

prestochangeo44 (9:32:52 PM): bitch

Crying kids? Now you're just manipulating our emotions.

GIZZIE is freaking creepy.

"I'm Bambi" Oh man where is P Patel?

Vent McDreamy vent.

Oh snap McDreamy just owned McSteamy!!

Bonding with an armless woman Meredith? wtf.

Man chokes on scissors!!!

karebare665 (9:38:09 PM): so izzie is bambi?

karebare665 (9:38:15 PM): and how dumb is she

karebare665 (9:38:17 PM): he's married

karebare665 (9:38:24 PM): leave him alone

karebare665 (9:38:30 PM): homewrecking whore

karebare665 (9:39:53 PM): izzie's mother isn't even dead!

karebare665 (9:39:56 PM): that line made no sense

They are going to shock deer? What.the.freaking.hell.

OMG a Lazarus deer!!

A baby is coming! And no Addison!!! And George is delivering a baby?!!?!? wtf.

he just delivered it in all of 3 seconds.

Lexie's has crazy big eyes like Stephanie!

Oh man,now Christina is sappy. I take her awesomeness back.

Callie and Alex throw down!

"A cute festival" Seriously?!?! I think I might hate Lexie.

Awwww what about you George? <3

Her mom was the hiccup woman?!?!

Wtf Lexie and George are so going to make out in like 3 episodes.

karebare665 (9:49:58 PM): when did george become a pimp

karebare665 (9:50:03 PM): all the ladies want him

karebare665 (9:50:06 PM): too bad he is gay

karebare665 (9:51:08 PM): in the reality of the fictional universe

karebare665 (9:51:14 PM): i was hoping the deer would attack izzie

karebare665 (9:51:28 PM): also please note that i am eating shredded cheddar cheese out of a bag

If Bailey says "speechless" one more time I am going to yell at the TV.

You're not chief resident Bailey so you can actually go home and spend time with your baby!!!

Oh my hell. Now McSteamy is getting all touchy feeling."I came to Seattle for you. I came to Seattle to get you back."

I hope McDreamy and McSteamy hook up!!!!! That would make my freakin life.

OMG Lexie wants George so bad.

Are ALEX AND CHRISTINA about to have a tender moment?!?!!?!?!?!?!! NO WAY.

Ooooh cold Meredith, cold.

MCDREAMY AND MEREDITH BREAK UP?!?!?!

Thank god.

They were getting boring. You broke up - stop making out!!!!

GIZZIE!!!!!!!!!!!

"Jill: i think this should be your note about grey's anatomy"

All conversations eventually turn to talk of Grey's anatomy. Today while vikram was telling me that andy couldn't sleep because of their loud neighbors obviously my first thought was that Meridith gave McDreamy wax ear plugs because she snores to loud. This led to a discussion about the character of Alex. We seem to know nothing about Alex, so we discussed some scenarios of his life before Seattle grace.

Karen: oh good god i just used grey's anatomy to help andy with his sleeping troubles

Jill: oh my hell

Karen: they have loud neighbors

Karen: so naturally my first thought was meridith got mcdreamy wax earplugs

Jill: lol

----

Karen: grey's anatomy can relate to any situation

Vikram: lol

Vikram: bc so much shit happens

Vikram: like every social problem imaginable has occurred

Alex: social and medical

Vikram: I doubt medical

Jill: this is true

Jill: sadly

---

Karen: what were the previews of grey's for this week?

Jill: i dunno, but alex gets punched and falls down

Jill: and george tells izzie he loves her

Karen: george told izzie that last week

Karen: who punches alex?

Karen: when are we going to learn about alex

Karen: i feel like we don't know anything about his character

Karen: we don't know anything about his background except he went to med school in iowa

Jill: write shonda rimes

Karen: alex is a really undeveloped character

Jill: he is secret

Karen: alex was probably adopted. one day his birth father will show up and need a kidney transplant, then never talk to alex again after the surgery

Jill: lmao

Karen: oh wait that already happened on lost

Jill: Laa13laa (12:38:38 AM): Alex will then be pushed out of a window

Laa13laa (12:38:44 AM): and end up in a wheel chair

Jill: Laa13laa (12:38:53 AM): only to be saved by mcdreamy

Karen: because his 70 year old dad is strong enough to push alex out of an industrial strength glass window

Karen: it will then be revealed that alex knew how to fly and chose not to

Jill: he will be a superhuman body builder

Jill: i think this should be your facebook note about greys anatomy

---

Karen: who would he meet in heaven

Karen: denny didn't like him

Karen: denny wouldn't talk him in to living

Karen: well i guess denny wouldn't want him with him

Jill: they would finally throw down

Karen: my note needs a good title

Karen: instead of doc being in heaven the deer that izzie saved will be there

Karen: sadly the deer got run over by an ambulance as it was leaving the parking lot of seattle grace

Jill: lol

Jill: oh!

Jill: alex can meet that guy he killed

Jill: when he gave him too much sodium or whatever

---

Some other random thoughts about greys:

Vikram: was george in the new episode?

Karen: yes

Karen: he is an intern again

Vikram: lol

Karen: meridith is his resident

Karen: he was being a whiny bitch

Vikram: he decided to do it over

Vikram: good choice george!

Vikram: quiting would have been a huge moment

25 reasons i am annoyed by grey's anatomy. seriously.

never before has a television show been so simultaneously addiciting and frustrating at the same time. we plan our social engagements around it, we spend hours discussing it, and then we spend more hours discussing how seriously annoying and frustrating it is. eagerly disgruntled, with sit hanging on every second, gathering up the details of meredith and derek, izzie and george, referring to them in conversation as if they were our own friends.

every week we yell at the television and occasionally throw things

every week we say how much more outlandish the plotlines have gotten.

every week we vow to not watch the show and be more productive.

but every week, there we are, eagerly waiting for the clock to change from 8:59 to 9:00.

the following are 25 conclusions/exclamations/grievances i had with the season premiere, just to give you a taste of what it's like to be in my living room on thursdays:

1. they give the interns INTERNS!?!?!?! [these people should not be allowed to teach anyone].

2. and, seriously, way to rip off bailey with the 5 reasons. none of you are as hardcore as bailey.

3. yes, the chief did just call callie "george."

4. no, she does not know what happened to burke, and he is "not around" because he got FIRED OFF THE SHOW. [from here to eternity, burke shall be referred to he-who-shall-not-be-named].

5. HIT A DEER!!!!?!!?!?!

6. "we got a guy rising from the dead over here." [oh good god, cheesey dialogue.]

7. well, now that you only have one arm, you will be able to more identify with your arm-less child. [please note, my specialization will soon be ARMLIS, when i finally add the second one].

8. SHOOT THEM IN THE CEREBRAL CORTEX!!!!

9. way to rip off the severed leg plotline from like 2 seasons ago.

10. good god callie, please do not announce the status of your boobs.

11. "uhhhh, we found an arm in the road!!!!?!" [ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!? and how come when they had the severed penis someone had to be with it at all times, but now they can just walk in off the street with an arm?]

12. and seriously, how come addison is gone and we still have to watch sloan.

13. obviously dr. who-will-not-be-named has resigned as he is now on bionic woman.

14. good god, george and izzie stop arguing over who is bambi.

15. what are they going to do with this deer when they get it fixed up? a deer can't remember to come back every week for a check-up. what happens when you shock a deer?

16. OH MY GOOD GOD THE DEER JUST JUMPED UP! DEER!!! WHERE WAS IZZIE WHEN BAMBI'S MOTHER DIED!!??!?!

17. george please, oh please, do NOT sleep with lexie. though finally, atleast one of the grey women has some sense.

18. i wish derek would punch sloan again. ["i came to seattle to get you back." seriously, weren't you professing your love to addison?]

19. why did izzie call her interns duds?

20. ALEX AND CRISTINA, IF YOU SLEEP TOGETHER I AM NEVER WATCHING THIS SHOW AGAIN. SERIOUSLY.

21. why does meredith always get in these situations where people are calling her from each side? [remember meredith/finn/derek at the prom?]

22. “this is it”?!?!?! THIS IS NOT IT!! THIS WILL NEVER BE IT! this is GREY’S anatomy and there will always be ANOTHER chance to reunite. especially when you make out like that after you have broken up. and then have sex.

23. plus, if you break up, we won’t be able to use that cool new moniker of “merder.”

23. george and izzie!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111 OH MY GOOD GAWD! george, atleast if you love izzie, STOP TRYING TO GET CALLIE PREGNANT.

24. bailey could so kick callie's ass if they had to fight for chief resident.

25. seriously.